I did sleep in this morning almost to 8 am ! I was very tired after not getting to bed before 11pm for the past 3 nights. Once I went to bed last night I might have fallen to sleep within 30 minutes, but the other 2 nights I layed awake thinking of Les Mis and Jean Valjean and the ending of Victor Hugo's masterpiece.
Yesterday, Gove and I moved some dirt by hand to clean a section of the driveway where we wanted to put the bike rack. We have a large pile of dirt on the north side of the house to move I guess we will do it in the spring or maybe this fall. In the late afternoon, my sister took our children up pass Aspen Grove for a hike and a stop for nature drawing. Each child drew and did a rubbing in their nature books. Gove and I went shopping at Sam's Club for ingredients to make 10 large pans of Lasagna. We will use these lasagnas when we invite families over for Sunday dinners. It's a good thing that we have a large outdoor burner that you hook up to a big propane tank and a huge pot big enough. We are a little heavy on salt but maybe it will balance out in the end. we did not cook the noodles, just added a little more moisture.
I have been preparing for Sunday school all this week and am just reviewing this morning. We will be discussing 1 Corinthians 1-6.
It was Elijah who awoke me this morning to ask me to write while he narrated his talk for Primary. I am so pleased that he and Beth write their own talks now. I think they feel empowered with this responsibility and they enjoy sharing what they understand and know to be true. Eli has been listening to John Bytheway, and is talking about examples related to Teancum and Amalikia. He also is giving the scripture and has memorized Moses 1:39.
While Gove and I were shopping yesterday, we both came to say out loud that we may be biting off more than we an handle with our 5 pillar tutorial colloquium group that we are involved with. We agreed to see how it goes and feel fine with stepping back. I am bothered about my girls being in Liberty's Girls again. Both are taking one evening of Creative Dance and I feel they should do so. Mattia will start speech articulation 2x a week starting on the 10th. I don't know her hours yet but that maybe where the need is to drop from the LG club.
I am still stewing over the ending of Jan Valjeans life. I don't like it. Jean was not completely honest with Marius about his life. Sure he told about the evil side of him but he did not share what all he did to repent and become a statesman. I think he committed suicide really. He forced himself to give up his life. I just think he did wrong. I wonder how I turn people way? Am I being like Cosette and mainly Marius and being to late in my forgiveness of someones actions? I feel free at this point in regards to that question. I don't have any contact with a couple of family members but not out of anger. I think I am better off emotionally not having contact or rather having contact by letters.
It seems that Jean Valjean would never forgive himself. He seemed to believe what Javert said of him. Once a convict always a convict. And no worthy actions would ever change that. That is a distorted statement. It is false, wrong , and not worthy to have in our minds.
I did like that Jean Valjean said he did what he could. That reminded me of Mary and the alabaster box, when Jesus said she was doing what she could so leave her alone.
When my father dies, it will pain me because I know much has been lost or never bloomed due to strained relations in the family. Yet I have faith, hope, and surety that joy will be had in the eternities and now as well, when I make room for joy. Man is that he might have joy. That is Gods work and glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. Moses 1:39
It seems that a convict was forever that. Can I imagine if a sinner was forever a sinner? If there was no repentance and forgiveness? There would be nothing to live for then. Maybe so many convicts where never given a chance to redeem themselves and improve just became worse because there was no HOPE. Thus no PEACE. Thus no SECURITY. Just STRESS.
Today is the first Sunday of a new month. It is a honor for me to fast and ask forgiveness for my sins, or to seek guidance in a particular area in my life. And then to take the funds we would normally consume in meals plus extra and hand these funds to our Bishop and know that these fast offering will help others in need in our own neighborhoods. Not to long ago I was still struggling with my natural self when trying to fast. I now have a testimony that I can let my spiritual self grow stronger and over come the natural man within me. I am thankful to bear testimony of the goodness of a loving Heavenly Father and and of his son Jesus Christ. I look forward to church each week. I receive spiritual fuel and I partake of the sacrament and renew my covenants to take upon me the name of Jesus Christ. This can not be taken lightly. I have taken it lightly in the not so distant pass. Much has changed. For the good.
This summer (May)started down in the dumps for me. Now I am clilmbing up and up and upward. With the help of my Savior, and hope and faith. Joy is available. Motherhood is growing. I rejoice to know that my Redeemer lives. He knows my name and knows my needs and my pains. I soar on the wings of love and gratitude to Him. Amen.