Saturday, January 31, 2009

Finally, A Conversation Between Me, Myself and I...

Hi there.
Where have you bean?
Oh, I've been near, just not here.
Why do you suppose?
I'm really not sure. I have found myself in a mood of not writing or feeling like reading for the most part. It's odd.

That's really odd. Are you o.k.?
I think I'm pretty o.k. I decided to not take the American History class earlier this month.
Really? You were so excited reading and annotating. What gives?
I really was excited, but decided I needed to take care of my health. I find myself getting out of control with eating and feeling helpless. Frankly I was scared, and came to see that I did not need added stress at this time. I'm listening to John Adams still and would like to read all the books for the class even if I'm not involved.
What about your health? Are you going to schedule a physical or something like that?
You know, I turn 44 next month. It's not that I'm going to be 44 that bothers me, it's the fact that I'll be 45 next! And I don't want to become 45 huffing and puffing my way through another year of life. So I got active and put the fear to the side.
What did you do!
I decided to acquire a health adviser/coach. I'm just into my second week with Dan of Total Health and Fitness. I decided to take this step because my sister Carrie has been attending and having great success. Even with her weight loss, I was pretty unsure if I could even do this. It's been hard to figure out how to get over feeling cruddy in the morning but I think my body is coming around. I eat 7 small meals throughout the day and my scale says I've lost 9 pounds now. I believe I am coming to a time in my life when I am really ready and willing to make changes to be healthy and fit again. My self image has been in the dumps for many years. I feel like I have left myself at the side of the road and forgot about me, that I need caring for and then I can care for my family with health and strength and might even encourage our family into better health too.
Wow that sounds like a big step for you.
This really is a huge step of confidence for me. I have decided to post my beginning pictures of myself here for all of you to see and say ouch to. You know, I am so often surprised by how I look right now. I have started to imagine what I can look like again later this year with time, patience, and effort. I think I will post my progress every four weeks or ten pounds lost.
What else is happening these days in your life?
Well lets kids are doing well. We helped them study about the honey bee who's Latin name is Apis Millifera. Beth (with help of her entire family) submitted an essay for a contest with the Utah Beekeepers Association. They are also taking an art class from a BYU student. They seem to like this. Gove informed me last night that his department wants to nominate him for teacher of the year. We had retaining wall made with huge boulders added to the south and west side of the hills. We will have a nice flat landing for fruit trees, grapes, a fire pit and wonderful wild flowers all summer long. I can see the future beauty of it all.
It sounds like your planning for your gardening...
Well it's more about helping the insects who help with pollination. We learned about neonicotinoids which are a group of pesticides made by Bayer. There appears to be a link. I'm going to add the youtubes below. We are planning to make a flier and distribute wild flower seeds to our neighbors and encourage the abstinence of pesticide use. We hope to develop a variety of flower gardens to help support the nutrition of our local honey bee populations. We are even going to win or buy a hive this spring too.
Thanks for talking with me. It's always nice to hear about your life. Maybe next time you can share more about your feelings.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Just Remember...

Progress not Perfection

Thanks to the TJEDMUSE yahoo group, I saw two words this morning that were part of an ongoing conversation.

For me these two (three really) simple words express my motto that I walked away with after attending the temple this morning.

Say it with me....progress not perfection

Saturday, January 17, 2009

It is not so much for its beauty that the forest makes a claim upon men's hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air that emanation from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.

-Robert Louis Stevenson

I concur with Stevenson.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Changing The Past...

I finished reading Pastwatch last Saturday. It's been interesting to think about history since. What really happened in a given event of time verses the perception of what happened by the author, given the perceptions and experiences of the persons reading what the author wrote.

It would be interesting to watch what really happened in world events of the past. Except I would like to skip the blood and horror. But then I would be missing a piece of the history. Wouldn't I?

For me, this puts a new twist on accurate history. Orson Scott Card spins an interesting change to the ending of Christopher Columbus and the America's. I liked what Card did, but I know so little about the idea of Mexico and the Caribbean becoming a world power for peace and possibly preventing slavery in America? Would slavery have stopped in Europe? That was the goal of the characters at Pastwatch.. .Influence Columbus so that slavery never begins. The key??? Teach Columbus and his men that all people, regardless of sex, religion, or color are brother and sisters and humans with feelings. It worked in the book. Yet it doesn't feel right to imagine going back in time and changing events. It was interesting to think that the whole world of Pastwatch had to agree to going back in time because it meant that the earths time that this Pastwatch was living in would cease to exist.

Next week I start an American History class with the distance studies program at GWU. We have a number of original documents to read (once we get them), The Scarlet Letter, John Adams, America The Last Best Hope, and Uncle Tom's Cabin. I hope to be taught by study and also by faith.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over lousy fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average of the world’s great civilizations before they decline has been 200 years. These nations have progressed in this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to Complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependency; from dependency back again to bondage.

Alexander Tytler

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Testing My Faith..

It's strange, I have not felt the mood to share. My emotions at times end up on a roller coaster that takes a while to come to a stop.

I wish I could type my thoughts without any judgment to me or my family being passed. Some things are just to private to talk openly about and so you are left standing there not sure what to do next.

That's not quite true either. I'm never left alone. Just this morning I shared with the kids that Jesus is here for us. I do believe this and felt supported yesterday. Support come after a time of testing. This time it took about one and a half days and then peace started to come. No solutions, just peace that I will come through as long as I remember John 14:18.

"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."

I was in Lehi yesterday and decided to stop off at the new Classic Books grand opening in Lehi. At the time I was not feeling comforted and probably should not have gone. So many nice women who welcomed me but I could not welcome myself and left quickly.

It seems that the ball game must go on...

Friday, January 2, 2009

Agriculture is the noblest of all alchemy; for it turns earth, and even manure, into gold, conferring upon its cultivator the additional reward of health.

Horace Smith