Monday, July 9, 2012

Lets address those fears of mine...

I've been living with fears both known and unknown for many years of my life. In ways, fears have become my friends and I have learned to change my activities or my actions to help my fears feel safer in my life.  That is until this past March.

I turned 47 years old in February and this seems to be the year for me to take my head out of the sand and start learning about things/subjects I thought would never be an issue and to also look at and find my fears and begin the processes of overcoming, conquering, and letting go of said fears.

Fear #1: Camping on my own. Even before I was married (17 years ago) I was so fearful of the idea of going camping by myself. How does a girl get over this? She camps. Now granted I didn't go by myself, I took my two daughters and we camped at our mountain property so there was some sense of familiarity. Because the men of our family were at scout camp and I wasn't going to be sleeping well at home I figured this would be a good time to start addressing this fear.
Indeed the days were just fine and peaceful but the three nights were rough emotionally. The first night I could hear cars driving bye, then about 2am a truck came very slowly just creeping along and I realized I had nothing to protect us with except the panic button on my key chain which if I activated it someone might have heard. The second night I realized people just drive slowly past our place because they have finished driving up a steep hill. So finally on the third night, I am truly prepared to sleep. I have a girl on each side of me, ear plugs now in my ears and we feel warm as bugs all snuggled together. Amazingly I fell into my first deep sleep in a week when at about midnight I hear a vehicle pull up close to my tent. Talk about a sudden adrenaline rush! I wake up enough to realize I heard a diesel truck! I yell out "Gove, is that you?" "Yeeeep" I hear in reply. What a relief to my poor heart. We spend the next hour talking about how Beth started all the camp fires and I made fantastic bacon and pancakes on the open fire griddle. And then I couldn't get back to sleep just when I thought I would have the perfect nights rest out in the open fresh air. I would not call camping on my own a fear anymore but it does come with some apprehension. I think I should have a hand gun next time and some pepper spray. I do feel empowered to camp now and can even invite other moms and girls to come with me. I don't have to wait for a man to help me and that is kind of a nice feeling.

My next fear is pretty personal and I'm not sure how to go about address it. I think it is possible to live in fear of what another person is going to do or choices they will make if you are not there to help, prevent, check up on, etc.. I think this is called co-dependency.  Anyway I decided in March that I would attend a 12 Step program to help me. I at times realize that having this fear also makes me feel trapped and annoyed.
The funny thing about programs like this ( I'm attending and an LDS family support meeting) is that what you come for is usually not the real problem. I was hearing people talking about codependency and I started to wonder if what I feel is control issues. So besides working on the 12 steps, (I'm on step 2) I have just started reading one of Melody Beatie's books called Codependent No More. It's interesting. I just finished reading a long list  traits of being codependent in several different categories. I think we probably all have some of these traits just at different levels of intensity. There is also something nice and perhaps therapeutic in gathering around in a circle, sharing ideas or pains without any judgement and just feeling love in the room when attending meetings.

Fear #3: Fear is felt because of ignorance. Ignorance is not bliss. It's terrible. What will happen? Will this never end?  Well the fact is we all live in the age of easy access and even when you are not trying to access you can stumble across pornography on the web. Filters don't keep naked pictures off of google images. I was going to keep my head in the sand until I realized I could not fear this epidemic. I needed to be prepared to help combat against this morally crippling infection. And really lets face it, our kids are going to be exposed one way or another and it was so nice to learn about how to share with my kids what to do when you are accidentally exposed to pornography. It's really important to be able to talk about it and take it out of their mind through words.  It's also nice to be aware of signs that can indicate a problem and to be able to help a family member early on is worth everything there is!
So if you don't know where to start here are a couple of books I would recommend.
The first, and my favorite (so far in my learning) is Understanding Pornography and Sexual Addiction: A Resource for LDS Parents and Leaders. This was a comfortable way to start learning. I love all the resources, sample lessons for different age groups, letters of addicts and parents of addicts, handouts, what to ask when dating seriously, important articles and much more. I'm still working on the articles and I have been grateful for the lesson outlines to guide some of our fhe lessons.
Second is What's the Big Deal about Pornography? A Guide for the Internet Generation. Written for youth to read and parents too. Many youth don't have any idea the side effects and the author has tried to be straight forward about what will happen and how perspectives change.
Thirdly is a book I am just starting. I like the table of contents and I can see that what the subjects are covering is not just for a sexual addiction but for many others like compulsive eating, anger, you name it. The book is called, Putting on the Armor Of God: HowTo Win Your Battles With Satan

So these seem to be the fears most pressing on my mind. I do fear I'll never have another restful nights  sleep again, I fear my teeth will never be white and my silver hair will only continue to spread..along with my lower body; but these I can live with. How terrible to let fear keep me from learning.I need to be ready to help guide a family member or a friend to find hope. A little discomfort in the beginning is worth the understanding in the long run.

Fear had interrupted my life...
Fear had stolen my security....
Fear had disrupted my peace...
Fear had disturbed my sleep...
Fear had me constantly on guard and unable to wind down either awake or during rest.... 
And now FEAR was starting to impact my health and quality of life!
-Latosha Brown

If only...a letter from Public Discourse

Just this morning I was wondering what would happen if all the people in America could be raised with the ideas/actions of honesty, integrity, and virtue. What would happen to the banking/lending systems or the entertainment industry or local, state and national governments in 20 years? If pornography was eliminated from (I was going to say this land)but I'd settle for just the internet alone. Could goodness expand? I would like to think so.  Could individuals be spared this monstrous addiction? I sure hope so.
Pornography, Respect, and Responsibility: A Letter to the Hotel Industry
by Robert P. George and Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
July 9, 2012
A letter on pornography and business ethics written by two prominent public intellectuals—one a Christian, one a Muslim—sent to hotel industry executives last week.
We write to ask you to stop offering pornographic movies in your company’s hotels. We make no proposal here to limit your legal freedom, nor do we threaten protests, boycotts, or anything of the sort. We simply ask you to do what is right as a matter of conscience.
We are, respectively, a Christian and a Muslim, but we appeal to you not on the basis of truths revealed in our scriptures but on the basis of a commitment that should be shared by all people of reason and goodwill: a commitment to human dignity and the common good. As teachers and as parents, we seek a society in which young people are encouraged to respect others and themselves—treating no one as an impersonal object or thing. We hope that you share our desire to build such a society.
Pornography is degrading, dehumanizing, and corrupting. It undermines self-respect and respect for others. It reduces persons—creatures bearing profound, inherent, and equal dignity—to the status of objects. It robs a central aspect of our humanity—our sexuality—of its dignity and beauty. It ensnares some in addiction. It deprives others of their sense of self-worth. It teaches our young people to settle for the cheap satisfactions of lust, rather than to do the hard, yet ultimately liberating and fulfilling, work of love.
We recognize that we are asking you to abandon a profitable aspect of your business, but we hope that you will muster the conviction and strength of will to make that sacrifice and to explain it to your stockholders. We urge you to do away with pornography in your hotels because it is morally wrong to seek to profit from the suffering, degradation, or corruption of others. Some might say that you are simply honoring the free choices of your customers. However, you are doing much more than that. You are placing temptation in their path—temptation for the sake of profit. That is unjust. Moreover, the fact that something is chosen freely does not make it right; nor does it ensure that the choice will not be damaging to those who make it or to the larger community where degrading practices and materials flourish.
We beg you to consider the young woman who is depicted as a sexual object in these movies, as nothing but a bundle of raw animal appetites whose sex organs are displayed to the voyeurs of the world and whose body is used in loveless and utterly depersonalized sex acts. Surely we should regard that young woman as we would regard a sister, daughter, or mother. She is a precious member of the human family. You may say that she freely chooses to compromise her dignity in this way, and in some cases that would be true, but that gives you no right to avail yourself of her self-degradation for the sake of financial gain. Would you be willing to profit from her self-degradation if she were your sister? Would you be willing to profit from her self-degradation if she were your own beloved daughter?
Furthermore, we trust that you need no reminding of the fact that something’s being legal does not make it right. For example, denying black men and women and their families access to hotel rooms—and tables in restaurants, as well as other amenities and opportunities—was, for countless shameful years, perfectly legal. In some circumstances, it even made financial sense for hotel owners and operators in racist cultures to engage in segregationist practices even when not compelled by law to do so. However, this was deeply morally wrong. Shame on those who denied their brothers and sisters of color the equal treatment to which they were morally entitled. Shame on you if you hide behind legality to peddle immorality in the pursuit of money.
Our purpose is not to condemn you and your company but to call you to your highest and best self. We have no desire to hurt your business. On the contrary, we want you and your business to succeed financially—for your sake; for the sake of your stockholders, employees, and contract partners; and for the sake of the communities that your hotels serve. We believe that the properly regulated market economy serves the good of all by providing products and services at reasonable prices and by generating prosperity and social mobility. But the market itself cannot provide the moral values that make it a truly humane and just institution. We—owners, managers, employees, customers—must bring those values to the market. There are some things—inhuman things, unjust things, de-humanizing things—that should not be sold. There must be some things that, for the sake of human dignity and the common good, we must refuse to sell—even it if means forgoing profit.
Robert P. George is McCormick Professor of Jurisprudence at Princeton University. Shaykh Hamza Yusuf is co-founder and a member of the faculty of Zaytuna College. Affiliations are provided for identification purposes and do not imply institutional endorsements.
Receive Public Discourse by email, become a fan of Public Discourse on Facebook, follow Public Discourse on Twitter, and sign up for the Public Discourse RSS feed.
Support the work of Public Discourse by making a secure donation to The Witherspoon Institute.
Copyright 2012 the Witherspoon Institute. All rights reserved.

I just lost my post about my burn...rats

Well I'm not going to type that again! Instead I'll just show the two pictures I have of my leg. The first is from today (7 days after the accident) and the second picture was taken 4 days afterwards. Much has occurred, like cellulities and antibiotics.

Today is my first day being active since Wednesday of last week.It doesn't feel nice, not at all. Time to rest.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Perhaps this says it all...

"It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt." 
-- John Philpot Curran

Response to a question asked of me at Facebook.. and an invitation to you...

Back in May, I was reading about Common Core at the Utahns Against Common Core web site and decided I would support this cause by "liking" it on Facebook. A day later, my neighbor left a message asking why I am against common core because he kinds of thinks it's a matter of being misguided.  Surprise, surprise, I don't often check Facebook so it wasn't until June 10th that I just happened to scroll down to that part of my account and saw his question. And since June 10th I have been deeply invovled with sewing and preparing for the Colonial Heritage Fest. Now my busy days are over and I set at my computer with my second degree burnt leg (a colonial kitchen accident) elevated and try to answer.

Frankly my reasoning is pretty weak. I mean who can stand on just saying,"gut instincts". It just wont float. But that being said I do have a few other reasons and though my reasons probably have nothing to do with Common Core directly I think indirectly my ideas do. And then of course there is always The Constitution of the United States of America and the 10th Amendment of the Bill of Rights (Super Big Reason!)

Small Reason #1: Books I've read...
Democracy in America (vol. 1): gave me a headache but interesting.
The Underground History of American Education: I thought this can't be true but every time we looked up the information, there it was. True. And also by John Taylor Gatto Dumbing Us Down.
Uncle Tom's Cabin: life changing, yet it plays a part in all of this...bondage comes in all sorts of colors/shapes and sizes.
Animal Farm and Atlas Shrugged: both have been happening for sometime now. I'm just beginning to see. 
Roots of American Order: learning from the past
The 5,000 Year Leap: my first big awakening that I needed to learn and would have something to do with repealing the 17th Amendment. I know, go ahead and laugh, but I cried when I received this impression/revelation.
Coal: A Human History: somehow plays into all of this too, as do the Federalist and Anti-federalist Papers which literally gave me super big headaches until I found a modern companion to help me understand what was being said just slightly more than not.

Honestly, after reading all of these books/papers I just mentioned, I still don't know much and can't even write a persuasive transformational paper. Yet, because I strive to not trust in the arm of flesh (not always easy) but rather ask God to guide my learning as there are so many people willing to lead me and our nation and I'm sure I am blind to many things and have yet to learn the truth for what God wants me to know and understand, I am confident that I am on the right path for me, Nickie. (Actually I have the feeling I need to step it up a notch).

I have two other small reasons that are so silly I think I'll be laughed at but since this is my blog and most likely no one is going to read down to this point (tell me if you did read to here), I'll say them.

The movement for parents and children to have their meals, all three meals, at the school. It's happening in Ohio I think I read and even testing it in the Ogden area if I'm not mistaken) and the development of health clinics that will serve elementary, middle, and high schools without needing the parents to be there. Big bells of warning in my mind. Hello Animal Farm. I'm sure this will all start out very innocently but give it time it will change.

Anyway I'm going to try to attend this meeting. Anyone else want to go with me?

And here is more details about the speakers thanks to Kim K.

Free Common Core Public Forum- Come and ask questions
Tuesday July 10 2012
7-9 pm
Larry H. Miller Auditorium
9750 South 300 West
Sandy, Utah 84070

Feature List of Experts:

Dr. Bill Evers: Research Fellow at the Hoover Institution Stanford University and member of the Institution's Koret Task Force on K-12 Education; specializes in research on K-12 education policy, especially as it pertains to curriculum, teaching, testing, accountability, and school finance. Served as U.S. Assistant Secretary of Education for Planning, Evaluation and Policy Development from 2007-2009. Bill was appointed as senior adviser to U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spelling during 2007. He is currently serving as a member of Mitt Romney's Education Policy Advisory Group.(

James Gass: Pioneer Institute's Director of the Center for School Reform. He has over a decade of experience in public administration and education reform on both the state and municipal levels. Between 2002 and 2005, Jamie worked at the Massachusetts Office of Educational Quality and Accountability (EQA). As Senior Policy Analyst-Technical Writer with the EQA, he oversaw the writing and editing of 80 school district review reports. From 1991 to 1996, he worked for the Dean of the Boston University School of Education/Boston University Management Team in its partnership with the Chelsea Public Schools. Jamie earned a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations from Boston University.

Emmett McGroarty, Esq.: attorney and senior director at the American Principles Project; has developed some of the formative analyses on the roles that private, federal, and state interests played in the development of the Common Core program and the related assessments and data collection; introduced the ALEC anti-common core legislation; and has been working with groups and individuals across the country to defeat the Common Core scheme; founder network.

Kent D. Talbert is a co-founder of Talbert & Eitel, PLLC. His practice includes legal services to colleges and universities, accrediting agencies, the K-12 education sector, charter school organizations, professional and trade organizations, and others in the education sector. Prior to establishing the firm, he served as General Counsel of the U.S. Department of Education from 2006-2009, where he acted as the chief legal adviser to Secretary Margaret Spellings.