Until yesterday I called Dress Barn the Moo Barn.
Until yesterday I only ever shopped (which was rare in itself) on the left hand side of the store
(the moo side).
Yesterday, something wonderful happened.
For the first time in my life, I walked into Dress Barn and purchased several dresses, blouses, skirt/jacket and nylons from the right hand side of the store!!!! When I looked at the dresses and wondered if I might fit into them I was fearful and dreaded what the mirror was going to show. But you know what! the mirror was really nice. And as a matter of fact the mirror said I could go to a size smaller than I was trying on.
Today, I wore a size 14, figure slimming, dress to church with off black nylons. Can I say right now that nylons are terrible. I forgot how uncomfortable they are in your crotch...ouch.
When I tired the dresses on and asked a lady if they were too clinging and too short she assured me that I was not use to looking this way having released a total of 50 pounds since 2008 and thirty of those pounds over the past 6 months.
I kept saying thanks to my Father in Heaven, my higher power, for this wonderful blessing of learning to accept letting go, surrendering just for today to a power that has done for me what I have never been able to do for myself. It is truly incredible. I cried in my heart and really wanted to cry but kept it all inside and simply walked about smiling and looking for other items that might work together. I have never bought that much nor spent that much. Gove said he was glad that I did so. I am thankful that I was able to.
No matter how we think that "this powder" or "that pill" or "those exercises" are going to do it for us, it's simply not going to last. Addictions come in every form and I think you can probably live without every addiction there is EXCEPT for food addiction. We can not live without food. Once you can surrender and take the 12 steps and begin the journey of recovery then sanity starts to come into your life and the mind starts to change and the negative voices begin to subside until one day you look at yourself in the mirror and you begin to see someone better and you say you accept yourself unconditionally right now and you wait for the mean little voices to say something and one day you discover they are very quiet because you are finally doing what you have always needed...you are surrendering your power over to your higher power and with the help of God all things are possible.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.