I was sending my daily reaching out to my sponsor, mentioning how I'm closer to being 50 when all of a sudden my mind was opened to the fact that if I continue to surrender to my higher power and live one day at a time when I turn 50, I will actually be younger and healthier in ways I never was when I married at age 30! This was a sudden opening of realization for me. I am on the path to both physical and emotional/spiritual health as I have never been before. Well, once I realized this and saw the insight as a real birthday gift from God I have felt wonderful excitement about my future.
I'm grateful to be alive today. Grateful to be finding sanity and serenity right now in my life. And then I was given one more gift of insight. I know I am not talented at writing so I wont get this down correctly but I was at the sink washing dished when my mind was opened to seeing that Nephi or maybe one or many of the other Book of Mormon prophets came to learn that it was by surrendering and not fighting that he would come to really know the power of God in his life. I can't get the words right but I felt so strong about this need to surrender my will to my higher power called God.
Oh my goodness. All the fighting I have done in my mind, heart, and outwardly in my life. So sad. It's surrender that leads to the winning of ones life and the giving over to God. What a great birthday gift I was blessed to feel this morning. Good luck to all of us in our discoveries of truth.
I am remembering that God is doing for me what I have never been able to do for myself. Amen.
P.S. I tried looking for Janeen Brady's song about earth day and birth day but could not find it. It's a fun song. We use to sing it when the kids were tiny little things.