Sunday, April 21, 2013

Weighing and Measuring is good...

"Unlike alcoholics, who must learn to live without their drug of choice, we must learn to live with ours."

I was thinking last night as I was driving home from Ogden with a car load of kids that it would have been nice if just Bethany and I were driving home because then we could stop at some place like Golden Corral and have dinner. Luckily for me, I had all those kids in the car as they saved me from falling into a binge. I was hungry and when we arrived home just prior to 8pm I was still thinking about just eating something when I was blessed to realize that I can measure out my food properly. I could have a veggie burger and 24 oz of cooked veggies (no one had eaten them!) some butter salt and dressing. By the time I slowly ate my meal I began to feel control and gratitude for not slipping off the edge. Deep breaths, and I really realized for the first time since coming to this 12 step program that I was actually thankful for the chance to measure and weigh my food.

How neat is that?! I figure someone reading this will think how terrible. But really it's actually sanity for me. 

This morning, I decided to start reading a short article called 'An Abstinence Model For Compulsive Eaters'. The paper covers abstinence in three areas of my life; physical abstinence, emotional abstinence, and spiritual abstinence. One emotional fact I am learning to recover from is negative self-talk and self-deprecating thoughts. Every day I say to myself the following: "I accept myself unconditionally right now." One of the Spiritual flaws I have is the lack of abstaining from the belief that all things in my life must be dealt with alone and letting go of control. So each day I also repeat the Serenity Prayer and a list of Letting Go thoughts.

Now that I have been using these affirmations for a couple of months I long to find very meaningful scriptures to add to my affirmations. I now go searching for what I need there but I'm not sure what it is that I'm looking for so when I find them I will share.

Take care my friends. Enjoy the journey and repeat the following just for today.

Just For Today 
Just for Today:
I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life
problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. 
Just for Today:
I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said,that, "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." 
Just for Today:
I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my
own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it. 
Just for Today:
I will try to strengthen my mind.I will study. I will learn something
useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought,
and concentration. 
Just for Today:
I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn,
and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two
things I don't want to do--just for exercise.I will not show anyone that my feelings are
hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it. 
Just for Today:
I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk
low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to
improve or regulate anybody except myself. 
Just for Today:
I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly but I will have it. I
will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision. 
Just for Today:
I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half
hour, some time, I will try to get abetter perspective of my life. 
Just for Today:
I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me."


Thursday, April 18, 2013


The Utah State Office of Education (USOE) is holding meetings in each school district to present the SAGE assessment System. SAGE is the acronym for the common core testing system that will be collecting data from our children.
The meeting for Mt. Nebo will be this Thursday, April 18th from 4 - 6pm at the Mt. Nebo District Office/Board Room 350 S. Main, Spanish Fork.
(It has been reported in some places to be on a different day but I have called and confirmed that this is the correct date and time.)
Reports on the previously held meetings. 
Twenty of these meetings will be held throughout the state in the months of March and April. Some of them have been better attended than others. I have heard that one district had only ten people in attendance, while the Alpine School District had between 200 and 250 attend. One reason Alpine was so well attended is the promotion by one Alpine School Board member, Brian Halladay.
Christel Swasey is a Utah Parent who was recently invited to speak on the Glenn Beck show because she has been researching Common Core. She posted on her blog about two of these meetings that she attended. First her own meeting in Wasatch County.
Second, she attended the meeting in the Alpine School District.
Questions that I hope will be answered at this meeting:
If you are wondering what might be discussed, there should be a Q & A time and here are some suggestions for questions.
1. Where can I read our state’s cost analysis for implementing Common Core and its tests? What will it cost per pupil?
2. I read that there is a 15% cap on a state adding to the Core; so what do we do if we decide that we need to add a whole lot more to actually prepare our children well?
 3. What is the amendment process for Common Core standards if we find out they are not working for us?
4. The Constitution assigns education to the states, not to the federal government. Also, the federal General Educational Provisons Act (GEPA) states: “No provision of any applicable program shall be construed to authorize any department, agency, officer, or employee of the United States to exercise any direction, supervision, or control over the curriculum, program of instruction, administration, or personnel of any educational institution, school, or school system, or over the selection of library resources, textbooks, or other printed or published instructional materials by any educational institution or school system…“ In light of this, please explain why our state has agreed to intense micromanagement by the federal government under Common Core testing.
Common Core is not necessarily supported by teachers and school officials.
There are many teachers and school officials who do not support Common Core. The UACC has been collecting their statements, some of which can be read following these four links.
The Republican National Committee (RNC) has just passed a resolution officially rejecting Common Core.
The people of South Utah County have been very active lately and our events have been very well attended. Even though this is short notice and the time is not very convenient for most working schedules, I am hoping that we can have a large turnout for our district meeting this Thursday,

Tamara Atkin
Precinct Chair Payson 06

Sunday, April 14, 2013

It is good to realize that we do not have to do everything alone. Help is available. Invisible hands come to support us at the right time.

Friday, April 12, 2013

So it's o.k.

     "Depressions are transition times for me," an older fellow stated. "I look at my lows as a preparation period, an inner time of growth and change even though I'm not consciously aware of what's going on inside me. But I didn't always think that way.
     "I used to get terrified when I got into one of those low periods. Every time I did, I questioned everything I ever believed in. I doubted myself and my abilities, my opinions and values, my friends and my (spouse). Nothing escaped my painful questioning. I thought for sure I was going insane. The pain was so unbearable, I wanted to (eat more) to distract me from my anguish.
     "Now, when I get low, I take it more in stride. I think of my depression as part of a natural cycle. Just as nature has its fall, winter, and spring; I, too, have a period of shedding old growth for new growth. I just endure my grey days knowing the sun will shine again-just as the trees will bloom after winter. As part of the natural world around me, I, too, have my seasons of joy and sorrow."
     Today I will remember that my lows are as natural as my highs. I will not become overwhelmed and exaggerate the significance of my depressions. I will endure patiently, knowing that whatever faces me will pass in time.

This quote comes from a little book called The Reflective Pond, page 105. I changed a few words to fit me and left out just a couple words to also fit me. I'm thankful to have come across this quote today. I've wondered at my feelings this afternoon. And now I can let my feelings have a place to be and know that shedding is occurring for me.

One idea that came to me today as I have given this entire day to reading the scriptures, writing, helping Tia with spelling and picking up Beth at Harmony is that I need to make amends to my husband. I realized I forgot a comment he once made to me and this morning I got caught up in my self-centered fear issues. I know these issues are going to come up again and probably again
and I hope that I can continue to make amends if they do and I fall short of the mark. That was a peaceful, hopeful thought for me today...making amends...

19 days ago I was blessed to have now released forty pounds of not just fat but also some form of emotional weight too. Not that I can pinpoint what those emotions are, it's more of a sense of feelings and hearing others tell me things seem different, more peaceful, happy.