Sunday, April 21, 2013

Weighing and Measuring is good...

"Unlike alcoholics, who must learn to live without their drug of choice, we must learn to live with ours."

I was thinking last night as I was driving home from Ogden with a car load of kids that it would have been nice if just Bethany and I were driving home because then we could stop at some place like Golden Corral and have dinner. Luckily for me, I had all those kids in the car as they saved me from falling into a binge. I was hungry and when we arrived home just prior to 8pm I was still thinking about just eating something when I was blessed to realize that I can measure out my food properly. I could have a veggie burger and 24 oz of cooked veggies (no one had eaten them!) some butter salt and dressing. By the time I slowly ate my meal I began to feel control and gratitude for not slipping off the edge. Deep breaths, and I really realized for the first time since coming to this 12 step program that I was actually thankful for the chance to measure and weigh my food.

How neat is that?! I figure someone reading this will think how terrible. But really it's actually sanity for me. 

This morning, I decided to start reading a short article called 'An Abstinence Model For Compulsive Eaters'. The paper covers abstinence in three areas of my life; physical abstinence, emotional abstinence, and spiritual abstinence. One emotional fact I am learning to recover from is negative self-talk and self-deprecating thoughts. Every day I say to myself the following: "I accept myself unconditionally right now." One of the Spiritual flaws I have is the lack of abstaining from the belief that all things in my life must be dealt with alone and letting go of control. So each day I also repeat the Serenity Prayer and a list of Letting Go thoughts.

Now that I have been using these affirmations for a couple of months I long to find very meaningful scriptures to add to my affirmations. I now go searching for what I need there but I'm not sure what it is that I'm looking for so when I find them I will share.

Take care my friends. Enjoy the journey and repeat the following just for today.

Just For Today 
Just for Today:
I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life
problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. 
Just for Today:
I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said,that, "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." 
Just for Today:
I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my
own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it. 
Just for Today:
I will try to strengthen my mind.I will study. I will learn something
useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought,
and concentration. 
Just for Today:
I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn,
and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two
things I don't want to do--just for exercise.I will not show anyone that my feelings are
hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it. 
Just for Today:
I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk
low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to
improve or regulate anybody except myself. 
Just for Today:
I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly but I will have it. I
will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision. 
Just for Today:
I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half
hour, some time, I will try to get abetter perspective of my life. 
Just for Today:
I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me."


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