Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Be still and know that I Am...

Since Education Week, I have been practicing mindful deep breathing exercises while repeating the words, "Be still and know that I Am".  I like thinking about Jesus Christ in this fashion because sometimes I get an idea to do something but mostly it just prepares me to say my prayers and bring my mind and heart to center on my morning ritual which is my spiritual journey into becoming the queenly daughter of God and slowly turning from slave-girl mentality.

I continue to think about love since education week as well and about Kathy Miner who taught us about love. She kept saying, "Love works and it's the only thing that does".  I'm beginning to believe her. Kathy is the first person in my life to evoke an emotional response that I have never felt before. When I left her class on Friday morning of that week, I started to cry because I really did not want to leave this woman. She is the queen I want to become. She was love. She was herself, she was learning to remember when she forgets, she is beautifully powerful, and was constantly flowing with love. I miss her. I realized that this is what it will be like to be with Jesus. I wont want to leave Him either. I want to reach out to Kathy but I also realize I have some other things to do over the next 2 months maybe until the end of the year before I am to reach out to her. Kathy is the founder of Mother's without Borders and I know I will be going with her or with other volunteers to Zambia in the following years of my life. I know she is going to mentor me in time ...well actually she already is because I am reading the writings of Marianne Williamson which Kathy quoted each session.

"Don't Feed The Black Dog" I'm not sure if this is true but I read yesterday that Winston Churchill dealt with depression and called depression the black dog. He worked to not feed this dog and thus tried to starve the black dog.  I liked this idea. So now in my kitchen I can read Don't Feed The Black Dog, starve it.  For me the black dog is not depression but rather negative thoughts, negative ideas, negative assumptions and illusions.  For several weeks I have been carrying a piece of paper in my bracket (bra pocket) on which I write a quick note of a negative idea, image, thought, anything that is negative and I give it the name of coming from Satan and not from God because God works in the present not the past and future and not with negative stuff. Then I let the idea go and almost every time the idea leaves me especially when I say it belongs to Satan and not God. This paper is helping me to quiet my black dog.

Sherrie Johnson is the other person from Education Week who is staying in my mind and I think about some of what she shared.  Mainly the fact that I need to know the truth. I am very capable of seeing illusions of the truth but being able to get to the truth of what is, is truly freeing and allows for truthful communication with myself, with God, and with the person or persons involved. And she has much to share on should sharks. I'm going to be visiting with Sherrie in time. Perhaps before Kathy but it isn't clear at this point.

Last night, I attended my official first class of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction.  We did  a 40 minutes body scan and although I had practiced the 30 minutes scan 2 times before, I found this scan liberating because I experienced a wonderful sensation of loving my body and feeling very thankful for the beauty of my toes, the bottom of my feet, my thighs, hips, my hair, my eyes and on and on with every part and now this morning, I love my body at the moment and it is young and vibrant and I feel peace for the present time. I plan to use the 45 minutes scan this morning and to attempt this each morning this week to see what happens. Mainly just to practice the skill of mindfulness.

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