Wednesday, September 10, 2014

In my Now...

Now
-Learning to use mindfulness through the body scan and breathing awareness.
-Reading daily from the words of God and the prophets of God. 
-Learning to read A Course in Miracles: today I will look around me and state without any judgement that "this or that ______does not mean anything". Once in the morning and again in the evening. I am not going to think about what this means I'm just going to do it. "Each day should be devoted to miracles..."
-Beginning to learn from reading A Return To Love. 
"The alter of God is the human mind. To 'desecrate the alter' is to fill it with non-loving thoughts." 
-Ouch. 
-Luckily, "Love in your mind produces love in your life." So there is still hope.
- I love hope.
-Bathroom readings will always be a part of my life. People come to my home and are surprised that I keep so many books in each of the bathrooms. I wonder why? I've always thought books are a great way to relax in order to take care of your business. Any way I am reading a little almost each day from the following two.
first: Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. I am relating to many things she is discussing involving vulnerability. Just yesterday I was considering trust and how it isn't easy for me to just start trusting when my trust has been violated. Why do some people just want you to drop what has occurred and trust them to be honest from here on out? I think it's because we each see trust differently.
For me, trust is a big vulnerability in my heart and eyes and mind. It requires work, attention, and full engagement. It's that engagement that Brene shared with me last night. She says, "Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears-the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable. What can make this covert betrayal so much more dangerous than something like a lie or an affair is that we can't point to the source of our pain- there's no event, no obvious evidence of brokenness. It can feel crazy making."   So my trust is going to develop as I make sure i and we are actually engaged and not just going through the requirements of daily living. It means talking and spending time together, asking questions and more questions and then simply being side by side. And I'm sure a lot more I don't yet know how to articulate or understand but it will come to me.
-Second is Marianne Williamson's daily devotions called A Year Of Miracles. So far, each day has something I can take into my life if only I could keep so many things going through my mind.  Today this is what she said to me: "Happiness is the choice I make today...I surrender to God any emotional habits that lead me down the path of unhappiness, and pray for guidance in shifting my thoughts. In cultiviating the habits of happiness, I attract the people and situations that match its frequency. I smile more often, give praise more often, give thanks more often, and am glad more often. For such is my choice today."
Okay, so, there you have it... for Now.

No comments: