Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Just keep breathing...today

I was visiting with my therapist yesterday afternoon. It is always nice to visit with Amy, she reminds me of things I want to do or say with my husband that I have forgotten and not even thought of.
I was sharing my insight about charity having boundaries and once I explained my idea to her she said to watch Elder Holland's talk from April 2014 General Conference that he too was saying there are boundaries without saying 'boundaries'.  I listened to his talk and he talks of love or the pure love of Christ which is charity as the love that is the only thing that works.

It's so everywhere now that I am looking. "Love works, and it's the only thing that does."- thank you
Kathy Miner for opening my eyes, ears, and heart to this truth that often feels scary to me...vulnerable.

Amy and I also talked about my experience with the MBSR course and how I want to become certified and how I probably will need my nursing degree again to add credit to my abilities. We imagined that I could work with Addo Recovery in offering woman additional healing by becoming aware and living in the now.  Mind you I am just a novice but I truly hope to acquire the skills to respond to emotions and not react to emotions. I really like living with peace and after listening to Elder Holland this morning I do want to be a messenger of Christlike love all the time. I do want to be forgiving and uplifting towards my husband. He is doing a good job (I do believe) on his road to recovery as well. I see little choices he is making to perhaps bridle his eyes and mind and for that I am deeply appreciative. Which means I need to make sure I tell him that too. However, saying that appreciation out loud does involve vulnerability and should I discover that what I think and what is really happening to not be the same then there is shame if I allow to be shamed.  I think I rather take the vulnerability direction. There is the chance for deeper risk but I think Heavenly Father will always be here to help heal me and I want to trust and believe in my husband and in other people who come into my life. I believe God wants me to be a forgiving person and to extend my hope and faith to my husband and to my children and perhaps to others like my sponsee's at times as they grow to trust the 12 steps leading to recovery and to a richer life.

As a family last night we did the 15 minute body scan and will start to invite our children to participate...I hope daily just for 15 minutes and for me I will be observing for noticeable changes as part of my personal research into this thing they call mindfulness.




Here is the talk, start the timer at 8:50 if you want to get right to the point.



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