I'm still going at it...like the energizer bunny I guess. Or maybe like the song, "just put one foot in front of the other..." Anyway I'm trying to say that I am still working at being mindful and using breathing as meditation and being present. I'm still reading my new story each and almost every day since the 28th of October. I'm still trying to make amends via step 10 as the need arises which it id yesterday evening.
Yesterday, I returned to Dr. Rose with my good husband in tow. I reviewed my surgical plan for the hernia repair and for the abdominalplasty and then I became nervous about the breast augmentation. I think it was a combination of several factors. My husband had just been home 24hrs and we had not yet seen each other with his work schedule and science project he helped a child with. And then I had also had a slip into fear, and I was feeling the tension of previous surgical memories and lastly a lack of sleep over the 4 days that Gove was absent from home. So all of these factors contributed to my confusion but Dr Rose talked to me straight forward about his wife and her implants and what he likes about them and what I and my husband will like and how my tummy tuck is going to work. In the end I felt better but by then the office was closed and I felt rushed so I took all the paper work home and I returned this morning. I had a peaceful experience. I read all the papers and signed them and I requested to try the 2 sizes on one more time. I like the 355cc implants and not so much the 415cc high profile implants. However, as I considered the look which is beautiful bty, I heard in my head to try the 385cc size which may not work but I really liked that look too. So I am requesting either of the two and not the high profile type. I left peaceful and happy about this and about my surgery and hernia repair this Friday morning. I had no idea that the tummy tuck started just under the xiphoid process of the sternum. My tuck may have a little issue with the old hernia mesh but Dr. Rose will encourage Dr. Rasmussen to really tighten that hernia muscle.
I'm using positive imagery and affirmations along with preventative ointments in preparation for this exciting event. No doubt I'll be in pain but I can recall long ago being in very little pain after using such techniques.